Every time I see this picture. I think super hard. I dream that my sleepless nights and my smile and my passion for wanting to do something good in this world is going to pay off. I hope that all the countless opportunities I don’t have because of my circumstance aren’t going to matter. That maybe one day I can have a happy home with a special someone and live my life creating and shaping this world. I want to give it hope. Give a future little one hope.
He gives me so much hope. More hope and joy than I ever express to him, to anyone. And all I think is “ Hey old chap, maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not trying enough.” but for fucking sake’s it’s so hard to try so hard all the time and see so little of it become anything but I still think. I don’t give up that easy.