Strange goals

I’ve had three of my own children and spent my life thinking about how to manage with children. And yet I still find my relation to my children deeply puzzling. Our love for children is so unlike other human emotion. I feel so profoundly attached to them, and as other parents completely independently of their particular qualities.

And yet 15 years later I am (more or less) happy to see them becoming independant – I have to be happy to see them autonomous. Actually, we are totally devoted to them when they are kids and yet the most we can expect in return when they grow up is that they regard us with bemused and tolerant affection. We want them to thrive. And yet we have to grant them the autonomy to make mistakes. In no other human relation do we work so hard to accomplish such an ill defined goal, which is precisely to create a being who will have goals that are not like ours. Thanks to Alison Gopnik to help...



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